A journey is about people learning all about themselves, they get to learn about who they are as people, and as individuals, they get to learn about the things that define them, things that they joyfully stand for and things that upset them to the very core of their beings, it drives them to angrily stand against it.
It is in the process of journeying through life that people learn about their identity, the phrase “I see you” begins to earn more substance in their hearts, souls and minds. It is the beginning, end and continuation of a self-discovery that will take them to places of softness and depths of tenderness and also to places where their whole body hardens and their hearts break as understanding of the brokenness of not only their worlds but also of themselves dawns on them.
It might lead them to a point of self-hatred, anxieties and depression which will hinder them from rising above the cloudy fogs of their world or it might lead them to look beyond themselves, to look outside of themselves to find something of substance to behold. This could be a good thing or could end up in a devastating outcome depending on what or who they choose to behold.
There are endless choices or options to choose from in the beholding aspect. Always, in this process of choosing and living out the what or who they behold, they begin to realize how quickly they are becoming exact replicas of what they are beholding which can be a painful realization for most especially if they understand that they do not particularly like or enjoy being around the person that they are becoming
In this stage of the journey, they have a choice to either choose something or someone else to behold or they can continue to behold their pre-existing god, if they choose the latter, this choice will lead them to wallow in a pit of self-hatred, anxieties and depression which some choose to numb by distracting themselves or numbing themselves to the realities of their world.
But for those who actually like who they are becoming, there are three different realities in this stage, the first one of course is that they have deceived themselves into thinking that they like who they are becoming. These kinds of people still have a lot of mental and emotional growth left to do so that they can honestly and thoroughly judge themselves and if they allow themselves to live through life and if they refuse to numb themselves or distract themselves from life, life will grow them both mentally and emotionally by throwing different hurdles and obstacles on their paths or journey through life.
The second one is that they have such a mentality that has been so skewed by their environment and/or surroundings that they genuinely derive pleasure in who they have become even if this pleasure is oftentimes at the expense of others. These kinds of people end up becoming tyrants in the society, they do things that are considered desperately evil and vile in normal human society, but they derive pleasure in their vile actions because they have a warped sense of right and wrong.
There can be so many reasons as to why or how they developed these warped views of right and wrong but oftentimes, it is a factor of environment and upbringing, no one is born with a warped sense of right and wrong. In fact, all peoples are born with a conscience which pricks every time they do things that it considers wrong, but they can however learn to become numb to the pricking of their conscience when they ignore it enough times. Psychology is however not my field so I shall stop at this point.
Like I mentioned earlier, there are three different reasons people might like the who they are becoming, the first reason is that they might be in denial and so they are deceiving themselves into believing that they actually like the person that they are becoming, the second reason is that they might have a warped sense of right and wrong and therefore derive pleasure in things that actually hurts others
And now I shall go to the last reason, if after a thorough and honest examination of themselves they come to the conclusion that they genuinely like who they are becoming not because of the aforementioned reasons then the only conclusion left to draw is that they have chosen the right thing or person to behold.
So, the only question that is honestly left to ask is “do I like the who that I am becoming?” Wait! don’t rush into giving yourself an answer, this is meant to be a thorough examination of your persona, give it a couple of days, ask yourself this question in times when you are happy, times when you are sad, times when you are angry, times when you are stressed. Basically, ask yourself this question every time you are experiencing any of the various shades of emotions known to mankind. Ask yourself, “do I truly and honestly at this very moment enjoy the who I am becoming” and if your answer is no, you have chosen the wrong god.
I will explain this further by using my life as an example. It is easy to say yes to this thought-provoking-anxiety-beginning question when I’m happy, however, when I’m feeling stressed and burnt-out, I notice the stupid choices I make in stressful seasons like choosing to numb my mind by spending countless hours surfing the internet as a form of relaxation, I know in my heart that I’m wasting my time and in times like this I honestly do not particularly like the who I am becoming.
This is a question that I’m thinking about even more seriously lately and I’m coming to understand something, and I hope everyone will come to understand this too as they walk through their life paths, I have chosen Jesus as my God- the person that I behold- and times when I keep my eyes on Him, it doesn’t matter if I’m happy or sad, angry or stressed, my answer to the question is always yes but when I chose to numb myself and/or shift my gaze from The One I find myself becoming like Peter in Matthew 14:30, I like Peter begin to drown in the pool of life and in these moments, I realize that I do not particularly like the who I am becoming.
So, answer this question only after you’ve lived life and honestly and thoroughly quizzed your life, if your answer is no, you need to change who or what you are beholding and if your answer is yes, then keep beholding what you’re beholding, you have chosen the right God .
And because I am Christian and also because I have beheld other things prior to Jesus, I can honestly tell you that it is only Jesus that will bring you to a point in life when after honestly and thoroughly examining yourself, you can say “yes, I truly enjoy the who I am becoming.” It is only Jesus that will make that statement a constant in your life regardless of the season of life that you are walking through whether it is an easy or a difficult one.
So, I shall end with this, after performing an honest and thorough examination of yourself, do you totally and completely like the who you are becoming. This is maybe the most important question in life.
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