Asleep, I lived
Avoiding the pain of living
Avoiding the pain of existing.
But my heart yearned to run into the light
Begged to be made new
But in the morning my heart awakened numb.
Chronically stuck in a painful cycle
Craving more from life on my good days
Covetous of a life glowing in the light.
Days like this, my heart knew I was made for more
Days like this, muddled up my emotions
Decimated my heart, leaving an aching hole in its wake.
Ergo I learnt to numb my heart once more
Exterminated the sparks of light breaking free
Eradicated the pain yes but also the light.
Foolishly I devoured the serpent’s lies
Fed on the lie that there was nothing better than sleepwalking through life
Fell back into the painful cycle of avoidance.
Going through life in this way
Got me a façade of comfort
Got me slowly through the sporadic life crisis.
Howbeit sleepwalking could hardly get me through life’s dolor
Happening upon an abrupt life tragedy
Helped my eyes open to this truth.
In need of something to help shut out the pain
In need of someone to close the floodgates of pain, tragedy opened
In search of someone to answer all the hard questions, tragedy invited.
Journeying through questions about my origin and purpose
Just who am I to be?
Just what am I to do on this round terrestrial ball.
Keen on learning how to truly live
Knowing my heart needed resuscitating
Knowing my heart needed to beat under the light.
Living in this truth
Led me to a signal fire
Led my eyes to an explosion of the brightest dazzling lights.
Myriad combination of sparkling flames
Mixing and growing bigger
Mincing the tangible darkness all around.
Nimbly the light grew brighter forcing the darkness into extinction
Not putting up a fight, darkness waned out
Noiselessly drawing a distant object to sight.
Object glistening in the distance was of a man strewn on a cross
Object which caused a loud thumping in my heart was of a man strewn on a cross
Object, blessed object, which brought me gliding to the light was of a man strewn on a cross.
Peering at the Holy man, my rebel heart cried for salvation
Prayed for salvation from the painful cycle of avoidance
Prayed for salvation from myself.
Quickly my feet sprinted to the cross
Quietly and swiftly the cross flew to me
Quaking my heart with joy as it engulfed me in its awesome dazzling lights.
Relishing my heart’s sheer joy
Rhyming the tune of my heart with the dance at my feet
Relishing the taste of mercy undeserved.
Surely bought by the One who left His throne
Surely bought by the Man who bled and died
Sheer joy flooded through my heart.
The winter has passed, and the spring has arrived
The winter of gloom and pain has faded
The spring has come that I may stand in the presence of the Holy One to feel the light of His face.
Under the light, I know I’m never alone
Under the light, I can hope in a world made new
Under the light, I know the Holy One walks all life seasons with me.
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